Swimming Against the Narrative(s)

The sun, the sea, the food, the daily massages. The long lazy days of reading on the beach. And, it was cheap. Very cheap. In those days, the Aussie dollar stretched a long, long way in Bali. I am as guilty as anyone. In 2001, when I returned to Bali for the first time in 15 years, two days after 9/11, at least once a day, I heard myself saying: “You should have seen this place in 1986; it was paradise.”

My first trip to South East Asia. Bali. I was there with my ex-wife, an actress in a popular TV soapy, and Dave, a friend who had recently become the world’s highest-winning television quiz show champ. We didn’t venture far. It was enough to lie on the beach at Legian, having our every whim catered for - and read. With absolutely nothing to do, my urban-wracked brain calmed, allowing a delightfully refreshed ability to concentrate. I was reading books at an astonishing rate - one or two a day. I can’t recall any of them now, except for one: Swimming to Cambodia by Spalding Gray.

Perfomance Notebook

Swimming to Cambodia is not a work of fiction. Rather it is an edited transcript of a theatre piece performed by Spalding Gray, an actor, playwright, screenwriter, and monologist. And, it’s as a monologist that he is best known, sitting at a table in front of the audience with nothing but a glass of water, a notebook, and a mic. Minimalist theatre. Gray’s monologue Swimming to Cambodia relates the story of his involvement as an actor in the film, The Killing Fields, director Roland Joffe’s film about the Khmer Rouge and the experiences of three journalists: Cambodian Dith Pran, New York Times correspondent, Sydney Schanberg, and British journalist Jon Swain. Gray plays a small role in the film as the assistant to the American ambassador to Cambodia.

During his Swimming to Cambodia monologue, Gray gives a potted history of the United States’ ‘secret’ war against Cambodia and subsequent rise of the Khmer Rouge. It goes something like this: Cambodia allows the Ho Chi Minh trail to enter eastern Cambodia along it border with Vietnam; the US begins a secret (this was done without the approval of the American congress) five year “carpet” bombing campaign against Cambodia; it is estimated that 25% of the enemy is killed (interestingly the US military’s own psychological warfare unit during that war determined that killing only 10% of an enemies forces can result in “profound psychological damage”); the Khmer Rouge, hiding out in the jungles of northern Cambodia, links up with and is trained by the Viet Cong and Pathet Lao; eventually the US loses the war and leaves Vietnam, the Khmer Rouge (under the leadership of Pol Pot, who while receiving a education in France read Marx and became equally enamored with back-to-the-land Rousseau-ism and peasant-as-proletariat Maoism); and on 17 April 1975, the bombed-to-madness child-soldiers that made up the Khmer Rouge (the vast majority of the Khmer Rouge soldiers were boys and girls under 18 years old) entered Phnom Penh and began a hellish reign of terror which lasted 4 years and killed - according to the most commonly accepted (conservative) estimates - 1.5 million people out of a population of 7.1 million - or, one in five Cambodians.

None of this left much of an impression on me as I lay on that beach in Bali in 1986. I like to think that it is because the numbers were too staggering, the human-toll too horrible to contemplate. But, the truth is that I was far more interested in the Spalding Gray the actor and artist, the notion of the monologue as a form of theatre, and if I, as actor recently out of drama school and getting absolutely zero work, might be able to conjure up something similar. I wasn’t alone. By the end of the 80s, with Spalding Gray’s continuing output, his zeitgeist popularity, and the film of Swimming to Cambodia (directed by Jonathan Demme) hitting the art-houses, plenty of other out-of-work actors had the same idea. By 1989, Sydney theatre seemed to be awash with confessional Spalding-Gray-types with Aussie accents. I was driving a taxi.

I have now visited the “Killing Fields” (known in Cambodian as Choeung Ek ) over 15 times. I seen the 5,000 plus human skulls that lie behind glass in the memorial Buddhist stupa - many, many times. I have wandered the “fields” - many, many times; where one may very easily dislodge some half-buried tattered and faded cloth, a human tooth, or a bone fragment with a misplaced foot. Just as many times, I have been to S-21 (known in Cambodian as Tuol Sleng), the former high-school in downtown Phnom Penh which served during the period of the Khmer Rouge as a prison and place of torture. Nearly 17,000 people are known to have entered Tuol Sleng; of these only twelve are known to have survived.

The reason that I have visited both places so often is that between 2005 - 2009, I led study tours down the Mekong River from Chiang Kong to Luang Prabang, flying to Siam Reap (Angkor Wat), then to Phnom Penh - followed by a speedboat into the Mekong Delta and finally a bus to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). After dinner each night the group would listen to a lecture from a leading South East Asian expert or academic. One of the lecturers who had the deepest effect on me was Dr. Leakthina Chan-Pech Ollier, a Cambodian academic who left her country of birth at the age of ten, just before the arrival of the Khmer Rouge into Phnom Penh. Dr. Thina had lived in the United States from that age, eventually receiving a PhD in French literature from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). She had returned to Cambodia and was now living in Phnom Penh. I had the good fortune to hear her talk many times.

Dr. Thina was extraordinarily good speaker (full of fascinating digressions as many of the best lecturers are); her lectures, however, were often met with a degree of disapproval from the group. The reason for this was that Dr. Thina had been rigorously researching the commonly accepted numbers of deaths during the Khmer Rouge period and had concluded that the number from direct killing (e.g. torture and murder) was far less than was the commonly accepted number, and that the number of indirect deaths from, what might be called “mis-adventure” (e.g. starvation and disease), was much higher. What I found most interesting about this was how strongly the group (and, as I would later find out, many other academics and writers on Cambodia) reacted. It was obvious that there was much invested in this particular narrative, whether or not it might be correct. It was my understand also that Dr. Thina's focus was not so much on the preciseness of those terrible numbers, but rather on the power of the narrative itself. Cambodia was (and still is) caught between two dominant narratives: that of its ancient greatness during the period of the Angkor empire, and that of the modern-day horror of the Khmer Rouge. Without a loosening of these dominant narratives, it is very difficult, if not impossible, for Cambodia to construct fresh narratives and new national identities. Dr. Thina’s approach was Foucault-ian, an attempt to find a way in which to locate the ruptures in these narratives, and thus hopefully exceed their constraints. The point to be made was not quantitative, but emancipatory.

Sometime in 2009, returning from a tour, I got a phone call from the head office in the US: Could I ask Dr. Thina to “tone it down a bit”? No. I couldn’t. Thus my career in educational tourism came to a close. Five years earlier, I was shocked to hear of Spalding Gray’s suicide. He had thrown himself from the Staten Island Ferry after a long bout of depression brought on from the injuries that he has sustained in a car accident in Ireland in 2001. Haing S. Ngor, who, after surviving the horrors of the Khmer Rouge had won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Dith Pran in The Killing Fields, was murdered in 1996 by a Los Angeles street-gang when he refused to surrender the gold locket which held a picture of his wife - a picture that he had torn from her identity card after she was taken away never to be seen again, and which he kept hidden - at great personal risk - during the years of his forced labour in a Khmer Rouge work camp.

On 10 December 2010, director Steven Soderbergh (Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Traffic, Erin Brockovich, Che, Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, Ocean's Thirteen) brings to the cinema his documentary on the life and work of Spalding Gray; And Everything Is Going Fine.

Recommended Reading:

Chau-Pech Ollier, Leakthina. Winter, Tim (eds). Expressions of Cambodia: The Politics of  Tradition, Identity, and Change. (New York: Routledge, 2006).

Gray, Spalding. Swimming to Cambodia. (New York: Theatre Communications Group, 1985).

Finite and Infinite Games

“There are at least two kinds of games. Once could be called finite, the other, infinite. A finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.”


In spite of of its cult-status, Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility is probably a book you have never heard of. And, although on first glance, you may think this is just another one of those self-help books that seem to occupy the ever burgeoning self-help sections of bookshops these days, it is written by a serious academic with a slew of well-researched and finely argued monographs to his name.

Professor James P. Carse is a religion scholar who has taught the history and literature of religion for many years at New York University. He describes himself as a writer and artist, but more interestingly as someone who does not believe in any God, though still religious "in the sense that I am endlessly fascinated with the unknowability of what it means to be human, to exist at all."

Carse occupies a much more interesting area of religious discussion than those rather pedestrian arguments for atheism put forward in the last couple of years by Hitchens, Dawkins, et. al., where a belief (and that’s all it ever could be) for atheism is argued without ever tackling the sticky problem of belief. Whether we believe in God or believe that there is no God, without a questioning of the very notion of belief itself, we can end up (as I think Hitchens, Dawkins, and others have) merely as fundamentalist believers in atheism - i.e. atheism as (ultimately) dogmatic as any belief in a God.

Carse explores a much more interesting and fertile ground, that falling between belief and unbelief. In his book, The Religious Case Against Belief, Carse argues that believers will confidently offer up a list of their most valued and thought-out views. However, they do not just hold these positions, they declare them. As in the case of Hitchens, Dawkins, et. al., it is not enough that they hold these views, but it is also important that you also know them. Hitchens (who, by the way, I have always held a great respect for, and more so after just finishing his wonderfully written memoir, Hitch 22) presents his argument for atheism in a highly cogent and even entertaining way. But what almost always gets lost in this display, is that while convincing you of the rightness of his/their view(s), any contrary view is being situated as plainly false. This, according to Carse, is the problem with belief (even, say, a belief in atheism): all belief is perfectly matched with its opposite; and, because of this, all belief is not only belief in, but also always belief against. Therefore, belief must not only focus in on the contrary stance of others, it is dependent on it; which means that anytime the passion with which that opposing view is held fades so does the corresponding belief. As Carse asks: “How could the existence of God be denied except if someone supplies a God to be denied? To be an atheist you need just the right theist to face off against. Believing is an inherently self-contradictory act.”

The reason for the cult-status of Carse’s book,  Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility, is that it gives one an almost visceral understanding of what it might be to have a religious stance toward existence without any need for belief.

Recommended:

 www.jamescarse.com

 Carse, James P. The Religious Case Against Belief. (New York: Penguin, 2008).

Carse, James P. Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility (New York: Random House, 1986).







UbuWeb & Henry Miller

If your taste in the artistic (or life) leans toward the avant-garde, then you will love AbuWeb. The site is full of gems. Everything from John Gage interviews, a intensely mad Paul McCarthy video, John Berger's "Ways of Seeing" (if anyone has Geoff Dyer's essays on Berger, "Ways of Telling," can you tell me!) to a wonderful 3-part doco on Guy Debord and Situationism: "Rather Brief Moment in Time: The Situationist International 1956-1972." It is a goldmine, but it does make one wonder if an avant-garde is even possible anymore. Forgive me my nostalgia.

The doco called "Dinner With Henry Miller" is a blast. This is simple enough. Just Henry having dinner with friends; the camera locked off and running for about 30 minutes while Henry and companions enjoy (apparently mediocre) food and (and somewhat better) wine. Henry is there with his current and last girlfriend, Brenda Venus (don't jump to any conclusions; she's as sharp as they come), and they talk about all manner of things with Henry interjecting to gently tease the off-camera cook about the low quality of the food. Henry finally settles on a riff about Blaise Cendrars the one-armed - he lost an arm on the Somme while in the French Foreign Legion - novelist and poet and friend of Henry's during his time in 1930s Paris. Apart from the rollicking conversation and the pure joy of listening to one of history's greatest raconteurs weave a yarn, what struck me was this is Henry Miller two months before he died! Obviously, he was eating, drinking, smoking, screwing, having a good time, and telling outrageous stories right till the end. But then again, he only lived to be 88 - should have stuck to vegetable juices and early nights.

Cendrars by Modigliani
Recommended:

http://www.ubu.com/
http://www.ubu.com/film/miller_dinner.html